Take the time to work on yourself – develop your talents, increase your self-esteem, improve the lives of others and take at least a few moments of gratitude every single day.

Good job.  It worked.  I was trying to think of a creative title for this post and that’s what I came up with.  How else can you grab the attention of an online audience flooded with tens of thousands of messages a day?

If you have a catchy non-cheesy attention grabbing headline idea for some content you think is MUST read, please leave it in the comment section below.

So I came across this post on Tony Robbin’s Facebook Page today and it hit me with such a magnitude of impact that I deemed it worth to dedicate an entire blog to it.   With no further ado…

UPW Tip of the Day:

All people who succeed, consciously or unconsciously, utilize the same formula for success. They use four simple steps to achieve whatever they desire.

1. You must decide what you want—and you must be precise! Remember, clarity is power.
2. You’ve got to take massive action, because desire by itself is not enough.
3. You’ve got to notice what’s working and what’s not working. You don’t want to expend energy on an approach that’s worthless just because it’s “part of your plan.”
4. When you notice it’s not working, you’ve got to change your approach until you achieve what you want. Flexibility gives you the power to create a brand new approach—and a brand new result for your life. This can be done in a moment: the moment you’re willing to be flexible.

That’s it!

I printed out a copy of the four items posted it on my wall and even distributed a few copies to people I care about.  What you do with this is entirely up to you but if you found value in it, odds are someone else will too so pay it forward and share it.

Until next time…

Everyone’s got a plan…right?

“If you don’t design your own life plan, chances are you’ll fall into someone else’s plan. And guess what they have planned for you? Not much.” – Jim Rohn

Do you know the story of Sally Jessy Raphael?

You may recognize her by her trademark bright red classes.  Then again, maybe not.

Here’s a quick summary…

SJR was a tv and radio personality in the 1980s and 90s who produced over 3,500 episodes.  During the era of mainstream talk show “Sally” made her mark.

But life was not always easy for SJR.

Fired 18 times?   18!!

SJR was not deterred and went on to be named by Talkers Magazine to both their 25 Greatest Radio Talk Show Hosts of all time (she was #5), and the 25 Greatest Television Talk Show Hosts of all time (she was #11).

She was one of only three personalities to make both the radio and the TV lists and also won the the Daytime Emmy Award for Outstanding Talk Show.

Have you ever been fired and doubted yourself?  How many times have you faced setbacks and thought about giving up?  How many times have you found yourself feeling lost?

Have you been fired 18 times?

Regardless of how many setbacks we face don’t give up on your dreams.  Have the courage to be yourself especially when it’s not popular.

Believe in yourself and that things will work out for the best.

We were all put on this earth to do something great!  Don’t let time, setbacks or the opinion of others get you off track.

Trust yourself you know more than you think you do.  ~Benjamin Spock

Until next time, pay attention to your authentic feelings and follow where they lead.

Thanks for checking out this post!  Would love to hear your comments or feedback below and keep in mind your comments often benefit other readers as much as the post so don’t hold back with comments, stories or questions.

Catch me on Twitter @thejoesweeney

PS.  As a bonus here is a great video of two guys living life to the fullest into their 90s

Question:  

How do we set REALISTIC to-do lists every day and not feel like we must unrealistically accomplish 8,000 things a day?

This is a question I recently received from Kathleen Larsen @markaval via Twitter.  As a reminder, if you’re on Twitter I will answer questions and respond to tweets if you tweet me @thejoesweeney and I may even blog about them if I think they are things that we can all benefit from.

Answer:

Any time we start something new whether it’s a new workout, a new career, a new habit, a to-do list or a new diet if you’re anything like me your first instinct is to want to learn and do everything we can all at once to get up to speed as quickly as possible.

Often times this approach and making massive to-do lists leaves us feeling overwhelmed, exhausted and frustrated when we reach day’s end with only a fraction of what we set out to do accomplished.

Rome wasn’t built in a day.  Prioritize, master simple things first and ignore the unimportant.

The things that matter most should never be at the mercy of the things that matter least.” –Goethe.

A simple example would be someone doesn’t exercise at all right now and wants to get in better shape.

“I’m ready to hit the gym 7 days a week and start eating healthy every meal,” they say.   Really?

The priority is to start exercising.  Seven days a week is not realistic.

It’s a losing battle before they even start.

Let’s say that person made it to the gym seven days in a row the first week, congrats, I’d be surprised.  But let’s say they did.  If they weren’t exercising at all prior to this new “I work out seven days a week challenge,” the chances of making it through week one without an injury or muscle strain are slim to none.

Given that, how motivated do you think they’ll be to hit the gym week two with multiple strained muscles?   Probably not very.  And the workout kick comes to an end before it even really gets started.

Overwhelming and unrealistic to-do lists can have the same affect.

While we may complete everything on the list once in a blue moon and perhaps there’s a small percentage of the population that this “drinking out of a firehose” formula works for long-term, the majority of us will come up short, become frustrated and give up too soon.

Become a master of small things first – then set lofty goals.

Our best bet for long-term success is to prioritize and stick with something manageable that creates small and incremental progress each day.

Let’s take a closer look at a better program for getting in shape.

Going to the gym 2-3 times a week is better program than jumping right into a seven days a week program for someone who doesn’t workout.

Look at all the small tasks one needs to do to just make it to the gym 2-3 times a week:

• Find a time throughout the day where we have a high enough energy level to work out
• Carving out time to workout while balancing other priorities (childcare, work, family…etc)
• Commute to the gym and back
• Shower after exercising
• Bring toiletries and a towel to the gym if we plan to go back to work or be somewhere presentable afterwards
• Making sure we’re drinking enough water to avoid dehydration and feeling run down
• Grocery shopping for healthy food – what’s the point of working out if we’re eating crap, right?
• Having workout clothes clean and ready to go (perhaps doing laundry more often)
• Having a workout routine or exercises we are going to do ready in advance so we don’t waste time at the gym
• Finding a trainer or coach or doing some online research for workouts to do

These are all the tasks we need to do just to start exercising 2-3 times a week and there’s probably plenty more I didn’t think of.

As you can see, sometimes a single tasks on our to-do list can have 10 subtasks (or more!) that must be done in order to complete just one item on the to-do list.  These ancillary tasks often get over looked when making to-do lists.

Make sure you’re including all the necessary steps to get things on your to-do lists done.

In the quick brainstorm above, see how quickly a two to three hour a week task of going to the gym probably doubled or tripled in time.

Next time you make a to-do list check and see how many of your to-dos have ancillary tasks that need to be done along with them.

Do fewer but more important tasks.

Jack Canfield asks the question in his book The Success Principles:

“What could you achieve if you developed four new success habits a year?”  (Principle 34)

Just imagine.

In five years if we added just four new habits a year, that would be 20 new success habits that could bring us all the happiness, wealth, meaningful impact, relationships and good health we desire.

Four new habits a year.  NOT four new habits this week.

Where I think most of us go off course with to-do lists is trying to take on way too much at once and not prioritizing our activities.

Are you trying to take on too much at once?   Probably.

How do we eat an elephant? (sorry vegetarians)

One bite at a time.

My best advice for Kathleen (and myself) is to pick the most important things to get done each day and delegate or ignore everything else.

There is a certain magic and momentum that develops from achieving goals and completing tasks, regardless of how small.

Start building momentum today.

Remember the story of the tortoise and the hare.

Do everything you can to become the tortoise.  Life is a marathon not a sprint.

Finally, accept that there are always going to be more opportunities, information and things to do then we have time for so prioritizing how we invest our time every day becomes extremely important.

If you enjoyed this post here are a few other related posts I think you will enjoy:

• The World’s Greatest and Simplest Time Management Strategy
• Stop Procrastinating
• 10 Signs You Need To Learn To Prioritize

Hope you had a happy and healthy Thanksgiving!

Thanksgiving is a wonderful time of the year with family, friends, fun and football – hands down my favorite holiday of the year.

One of the things I appreciate most about Thanksgiving is a tradition in my family where we go around the dinner table and everyone says what they are thankful for.  There are no rules or guidelines and everyone is free to say whatever they feel.

Some years we’ve had over 70 people at our house to partake in this tradition and there’s usually not a dry eye in the room when we’re done.

While Thanksgiving is a wonderful opportunity to give thanks and remember what we’re grateful for, it’s something we could all benefit from doing every day.

“Be thankful for what you have; you’ll end up having more. If you concentrate on what you don’t have, you will never, ever have enough.”
~ Oprah Winfrey

What I am challenging myself and all my readers to do is to write a handwritten thank you note every day for the next 21 days expressing our gratitude to someone.

It could be as simple as saying thank you to a parent for bringing you into this world, how much you appreciate the doorman at your building or a long letter to someone who has positively impacted your life in a way you could never repay them for.

Perhaps you’ll even have the courage to reach out to a relationship that has fallen off the treadmill or an old teacher you haven’t spoken to in years, that helped you become who you are today.

What ever you decide to do, the challenge is out there to write a handwritten thank you note every day for the next 21 days to show our gratitude and appreciation to the special people in our lives.

“Each of us has cause to think with deep gratitude of those who have lighted the flame within us.” ~Albert Schweitzer 

Thanks for stopping by and taking time to read my blog this week.

PS.  If you’re going to take the gratitude challenge please leave a comment below saying “I’m in”

If just 10 people complete the challenge that’s 210 letters sent to brighten someone’s day!

100 people would be 2,100 uplifting letters!

If 1,000 people do it, that’s 21,000 letters of gratitude!

PSS.  I am thankful for clean water and will be donating $1 to charitywater.org for every comment left below between now and December 31st, 2012 (up to 1,000 comments or $1,000).

So after a month long hiatus, I’m finally getting around to blogging again. Tuesday was my set day for the first two years of this blog and it seems to ebb and flow since then as I’ve experimented with other projects, though I’m striving to produce more regular blog content between now and the end of the year, we’ll see how it goes.  If you want to know when my blog comes out the best thing to do is throw your name and email in the “free updates” about half way down on the far right column and then click “subscribe.”

Keep experimenting with life until you find exactly what you’re are looking for, because we only get one shot here, there’s no do overs.  The only way we’ll feel totally fulfilled and accomplish extraordinary things is to spend our time doing things we love.

If you haven’t found it yet, keep proactively searching and experimenting.

It might be living in a certain place in the world, a relationship, a passion, a career, a lifestyle, a business you want to start, an invention you’ve been thinking about for years or maybe your happy place is the wonderful feeling of waking next to someone special and getting the spend the day together exactly as you want to…every single day.

It’s different for all of us which makes life both exciting and confusing at the same time.

The biggest risk we can take is not experimenting and playing it safe.

Be who you are and say what you mean, because those who mind don’t matter and those that matter don’t mind ~ Dr.  Seuss 

No one really knows what we’re here to do with 100% certainty without experimenting and trying a few different things (regardless of what they tell you) so keep trying new things and experimenting until you find something you love.

There are no guarantees you’ll find it right away.  It may take years or even decades, depending on how often you take the risk of being your self.

It’s never a bad idea to have a role model or to seek advice from someone you respect — just don’t let it stop you from being yourself.

Being true to yourself is the key.

Start making decisions.  Right or wrong, big or small, trust your gut, every decision is authentically you and like a muscle the more we use it the stronger it gets.

Just keep moving forward.  Risk thinking differently.

Adopt the mindset of, “Good, I found out that works or doesn’t work for me, now what else can I try?”

The sooner we try something else, the sooner we learn if it’s a fit for us.

Regardless of the outcomes, it’s important to keep looking through the windshield and not the rear view mirror.   Be proactive, keep pushing play!

Making mistakes is all part of the program, and remember if it were easy or the outcome was guaranteed, everyone would do it.

Nothing is right or wrong, it just depends on our mindset, perspective and how we frame it.

Keep trying new things and eventually we will carve out our path in life, sometimes almost accidentally and when it “clicks” we wonder where it’s been hiding the whole time, failing to realize it was our action and experimenting that paved the way.

One of the surest ways to paralyze yourself from taking action is to feel we have to have everything figured out before we start moving and taking action.  This mindset distracts us from the exact action we need to be taking to figure out the answers we are after.

If it’s said we learn from our mistakes, then why are we all so afraid to make mistakes?

Only through experience of trial and suffering, can the soul be strengthened, ambition inspired and success attained. ~ Helen Keller

If we approach a fork in the road and are unsure which way to go, knowing there will be setbacks, challenges, struggles, naysayers, adventures, lessons, good times and bad, regardless of which path we take, then why would we follow any path but our own?

Only through strengthening our decision making and trusting our gut through 100s or 1000s of decisions, lessons and experiments will our path begin to take shape.

Whatever that voice inside you is saying or whispering, start on it today!

There are no guarantees, experimenting with life will take us where we want to go, but there’s no way to get there coloring inside the lines.

We have to be humble enough to understand we don’t really know where we’re going or what’s going to happen, even if we have a plan or have been there before.

It better to be the person who says I tried and failed, then I had that idea but failed to act on it because I was too lazy, didn’t think the idea was good enough or wasn’t sure how it was going to work out.

It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat. ~Teddy Roosevelt “The Man in the Arena”

Thanks for reading, have a fantastic day!

Joe

PS.  What have you secretly always wanted to do but have been holding back out of fear of it not coming true or because of what others will say?  Leave a comment below or feel free to give me a shout or ask questions on Twitter @thejoesweeney (I’ve taken leave of absence from Facebook with no return time planned yet so Twitter and the blog are where you’ll find me online).

PSS.  I’ve complied the list of the most read posts on this blog to make the site easier to navigate, click here to check it out and read or reread some of the most popular posts.

Maannn, I can’t believe that!  How did that happen?

Why is this happening to me?

I hate it when things don’t go my way!  #$!#!%% Ugh!

If only….Bob did this and Sam did that and Susie wasn’t so unfair.  Then I’d be successful.  Ugh!

Things never go my way, maybe I should just give up.

Sound like someone you know?

Ever felt like this yourself?

Sure we all have.  I know I have.

I’m pretty sure even the most optimistic person on the planet has felt like this at one time or another.

The key is how fast we learn the lesson and bounce back from moments like these so we don’t become permanent residences in Failureville

Think about the last time you were really upset or failed at something.

Looking back on it, what did you learn from the situation?

Or were you too pissed off, upset, angry, hurt, rejected, or busy blaming someone else to learn the lesson?

It’s those moments when we don’t get the bounces optimism and a new way of looking at the situation can catapult us out of Failureville and back into the winner’s circle.

Turn failure into feedback 

There is always something we could have done differently and when we take 100% accountability for everything we do, we are in control of our lives.

Every time something doesn’t go our way, we can use the negative feedback as a way to improve next time.  These are what Jack Canfield calls, “improvement opportunities.”

Trying to remember a simple question and repeating it to myself has helped me get through a lot of difficult moments and frame them as learning opportunities.

Ready for it?  Here it is:

What’s the lesson here?

Boom!  That’s it.  Nothing fancy or special, and you’ve probably heard it before.

Practice applying it to every aspect of life.

Even when we don’t feel like it.

Think about these scenarios:

Lost a job.  What’s the lesson here?

Fell and got injured skiing.  What’s the lesson here?

Bought tickets for the big game from a scalper and they turned out to be fake.  What’s the lesson here?

Got dumped.  What’s the lesson here?

Business partner is hording information and driving me nuts.  What’s the lesson here?

Somebody I love just died.  What’s the lesson here?

Lost my house to a foreclosure.  What’s the lesson here?

Why don’t I have any good friends?   What’s the lesson here?

I’m unhappy with my life.  What’s the lesson here?

I’m in terrible shape.  What’s the lesson here?

Can’t get a date.  What’s the lesson here?

(INSERT) the worst problem I’m facing right now.   What’s the lesson there?

Every one of these examples contains a lesson.  See if you can go back and quickly point of the lessons or pivots to avoid this happening in the future.

It’s an easy question to remember but approaching life’s setbacks with this simple question (“what’s the lesson here?”) can dramatically shift our mindset and create a more positive future for us.

Think of failure as data.

Life is filled with trial and error.

The more we fail the more opportunities we have to learn and gather data.  If we have an optimistic attitude, we will continue to try in the future.  The more we try, the more we will succeed.

“Colder, Colder, Colder, Warmer”

Did you ever play the game as a kid or with your kids, where you had to find someone or something and your friend or teacher would say “warmer” when you were moving towards the goal and “colder” when you moved farther away from it?

Think of life’s setbacks and temporary failures as “colder” responses.

Without “colder” responses we’d be totally lost if they (friend or teacher) just stood there silent until we moved in the right direction.

“Colder” is the cue and feedback we need to adjust our direction until we hear a “warmer” and start traveling in the right direction again.

Has anyone ever played that game (without cheating) and not heard “colder” at least once?

Of course not.  Everyone fails and needs feedback to get better.

If we’re not making mistakes we’re living a pretty boring life.

Embrace the temporary failures.  ”Colder” is our friend.

It doesn’t mean we have to like it, if you’re like me, I know you like winning a lot more than losing.

I don’t even like losing in video games, but recognize there is a valuable lesson in every defeat.

If we learn the lesson, losing’s not as bad.

Can you imagine a child getting upset with the person saying “colder” and blaming them?

Has that ever happened to you?

That’s exactly what most people do in real life.

Mad at your boss or company because you got fired?

Mad at your significant other because they want to break up with you?

Mad at the bank because you can’t pay your mortgage?

Mad at the landlord for wanting you to pay rent on time?

Mad at your teacher for getting upset with you for talking in class?

Mad at a college for not letting you in?

Mad at your opponent for beating you?

Mad at the recruiter because you didn’t get the job?

Mad at the other person they just selected over you at work for the promotion?

Mad at life for the bad hand of cards you were dealt.

Save it.   Instead approach each of those scenarios or whatever scenarios life throws at us with the question.

What’s the lesson here?

Look at the lessons in each of those situations.  Can you identify them?   What could we learn from each of those situation?

Usually the lesson is crystal clear and obvious.

But what if we can’t find the lesson we’re supposed to learn.  Then what?

Start digging.  And keep at it until you find something because making mistakes is part of life, but making the same mistakes over and over again means we missed the lesson the first time.

If the feedback isn’t obvious at first, I find sitting down with a pen and paper to do some brainstorming usually does the trick.

Make a list of 20 things to learn from the failure.

A good 15 minute brainstorm can radically shift the way we look at something and open us up to possibilities we didn’t know existed.

If that’s not successful, try asking someone you trust for feedback.

Find someone you trust to tell you the truth and tell them not to be afraid of hurting your feelings.  That you want honest feedback.  Then tell them what happened ask for their thoughts.

What’s the lesson here?

If you don’t know someone who will tell you the honest truth, send me a message or leave a comment below and I’ll give you my honest feedback and be your truth teller.

I don’t know where I first heard it but I love the saying, only those who care enough will care enough to tell you the truth.

Whatever happens or whatever they say, don’t take it personally and don’t shoot the messenger.

Remember when life or someone says “no” it’s not personal.  It’s just their preference at the time, perhaps due to circumstances we’re not ever aware of.

Don’t take it personally.

Think about this….

If you offered me a stick of chewing gum and I say “no,” would you feel rejected?

Of course not!   I’m not saying no to you, I’m saying no to the gum.

Keep that in mind.

If you are in sales, and a prospect you were sure was going to buy says no. They are not rejecting you, they are rejecting your product or service.  It’s not personal.

Got dumped in your relationship?  This time it might actually be you but the feedback is invaluable.  If you ask for feedback they will (hopefully) tell you what you are doing to drive them away and what you need to do more of to keep them around.  If you still want to be with this person it’s time to step up your game.  Otherwise, I’m sure you’ll look back one day and realize it was a blessing in disguise.

Didn’t get the job you were after?   There are thousands of other opportunities.  What made this one so special?  Perhaps that job would have taken so much of your time it would have cost you the relationships, health and freedom that bring you so much happiness.  A better job or opportunity is right around the corner.

Whatever happens, don’t take it personally, get the feedback from the failure or truth teller and move on in a positive direction.

The primary benefit of failing (yes, there are benefits) is the chance to come back with a stronger, smarter approach next time.

The sooner we bounce back.  The more attempts at life we can take.  The more attempts we take, the more we’re likely to fail.  The more we fail.  They more we’ll learn.  The more we learn, the more likely we are to succeed.

Any way you slice it, it’s time to get out, press play and start taking more action!

And whatever happens out there, don’t give up.  Remember, we need to hear “colder” every now and then to point us in the right direction.

Give up now and we’ll have something to regret for the rest of our lives.

Turn Failureville into feedback and keep failing forward.

Above all, remember failure is a verb, not a noun.  

As always, thank you for reading!

Keep learning and stay positive!

PS.  What techniques do you use to turn failures into feedback?

I’d love to hear from you in the comment section below.

The more specific you are in your comments the better, as your comments could have a positive impact on someone else reading this who is struggling to overcome the same challenges.

PPS.  If you liked this post be sure to give me a shout on Twitter @thejoesweeney or post something AWESOME on my Facebook page

Do you ever think about what you’re thinking about?  

Sounds like a play on words, I know.  It’s not meant to be.

If it didn’t click or you glossed over it the first time, take it a little slower this time and let the words and meaning really sink in.

Do you ever think about (pause…let the words you just read sink in…..continue when ready) what you’re thinking about?   

Get it?

Wait, meaning do I ever think about my thoughts?  Is that what you mean?  Joe that’s crazy talk!

I know.  Really weird.

Believe me, it sounded just as ridiculous to me the first time I heard the question.

And then even more ridiculous, I found myself starting to explore what it really meant and then I was shocked when I realized how negative my thoughts were.

Determined to change and improve, I was pleasantly surprised when I learned how a couple simple daily success habits could change my thoughts and life for the better.

And now, I’ve become one of those weird people (trust me, I thought they were weird too) who talk to themselves every day and keep gratitude journals and do all sorts of unimaginable stuff I never though I’d be doing.

And I’ve never been happier.  I’m happy and that is the greatest blessing along with loving ourselves that we can bestow upon ourselves.

After years of diligently studying personal development and neuroscience, the meaning and significance of the question is starting to click. I’ve still got a lot to learn but the results are undeniable, just ask anyone who knew me as a child and knows me now.

How did this change occur?   By reading hundreds of personal development books, talking to mentors, and consciously surrounding myself with positive people.  I’ve also developed some success habits and exercises to work on, monitor and control my thoughts (there’s a link at the end for these).

Believe me this was no overnight phenomena.  It took me a couple years just to “get it” and then a couple more years to realize how important this stuff was to my happiness, relationships and living a successful, meaningful life.  How long will it take to click?  I cannot say.  I think it’s different for everyone depending on our current thought patterns and self-talk, but once it clicks, life changes in a way that’s nearly impossible to explain in words.

It’s an indescribable feeling to wake up with a smile every day.  And once we learn how to control our self-talk and thought patterns that is the beginning of the formula to learn to teach and motivate ourselves to do anything we want.

I know what some of you are thinking….”Hey Joe, if this is so important, how come our parents didn’t teach us this growing up? Huh?! Why didn’t we learn about this in school? ”

Those are very good questions and we’re all in the same boat here because I didn’t learn about it from my parents or take a class on it in school either.

Before we jump to conclusions about the education system and the parenting we received (I love you mom and dad), the answer about why we were not taught any of this may surprise you.

It didn’t exist before.  Actually it did.  But we didn’t understand enough about it for it to make sense.

Most of our parents didn’t know neuroscience even existed, let alone for it to become mainstream enough to be taught in the education system.  You mean to tell me this stuff wasn’t around when our parents were growing up?   Yep, that’s the truth.  And if they didn’t learn about it, how could we expect them to teach us about it?

Some will argue we have known about this stuff for years.

William James was quoted as saying, “The greatest discovery of my generation is that a human being can alter his life by altering his attitudes of mind.”  For the record, William James died in 1910.  

Sure it has been out there but nothing like we’ve seen lately…..

While we as a species have studied the brain for many, many years, in the last 10 we have learned more about the brain than all previous years of brain study combined.  Thanks to advances in technology we now have a much, much deeper understanding of how the brain’s 100 billion nerve cells work and connect.

For anyone who doesn’t know what neuroscience is, at the most basic level, neuroscience is the study of the brain and the nervous system.  Google it to learn more.   Look up guys like John Assaraf , Martin Seligman, Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi and Shawn Achor who are pioneers in the industry.

What’s amazes me most about neuroscience is that it proves beyond any doubt that our self-talk and our thought patterns affect our brains and our lives.

Considering I walked around with zero awareness of my thought patterns and the impact of self-talk for the first 25 years of my life, I’m guessing many of you still have no idea about this stuff and the power it can have on our lives.

I can safely hypothesize that a good number of of you reading this very blog post right now are not aware of your own thought patterns and self-talk.

And playing the odds, a few of you are completely oblivious to the fact that your thought patterns and self-talk are the single biggest thing holding you back in life right now.  It’s not my opinion, neuroscience has proven it to be true.

And that’s a great news!   Why?  Because if you are the problem, then guess what?  You are also the solution!

Here are some ideas, solutions and habits to start improving your self-talk and your life.  Click here for the success habits.

Until next time, keep learning and stay positive!

If you liked or hated what you read today, I’d love to hear about it in the comment section below.

A few links you might like:

• How to be Happy
• Change Your Thoughts Change Your Life – self-talk success habits 
• The Happiness Advantage – TED Talk by Shawn Achor
• If you want help to start making positive changes to your thought patterns, self-talk and life, click here to learn more about the benefits of working with a coach and have your questions answered.

Has it been that long that this sort of behavior has become acceptable in the workplace?

I write this post having just tasted this first hand.  Please weigh in below and let me know if I overreacted in your opinion.  Thanks!

If you run a business this is NEVER okay.  Serious, there is no excuse for this kind of behavior.

As a quick backstory, I recently put my resume up on the career center website for the business school at my alma mater to see if there were any great companies that would contact me for a sales position.  The mental conversation about being an entrepreneur and business owner versus being an employee is one I struggle with from time to time as I sometimes miss the rush of sales and the camaraderie of being part of a team.

Sure enough, last Friday I got my first call back so I setup a job interview for this afternoon.

Being self-employed the last couple years, it has been a while since I have had a job interview so I was even more thorough than usual as I went through the standard procedures of industry and company research as well as identifying opportunities where I feel I could add value to the firm, both now and in the future.  I also had a laundry list of questions ready for the interviewer.

In my research, I was thoroughly impressed by the credentials and numerous accolades of the prestigious firm I was interviewing at.  Their annual growth rates over the last 10 years were incredible averaging double digits for the decade.  Beyond that, they boasted award winning customer service, recognized both locally and nationally by numerous reputable publications and media outlets for their success and growth.

You get the idea.

On paper everything looked good, and I was ready to throw my hat back in the sales and business development world and see what happens.

Fast forward to today.

I arrived for my interview about 10 minutes early and walked in to see an empty front desk where I would normally expect to see a secretary.  Unsure where to sit and wait or walk in, I proceeded into the office, which initially appeared vacant.  After walking down a relatively long hallway with offices on both sides,  I noticed a gentleman in the “corner office” at the end of the hall, so I headed in that direction.

While I was still a good 20 paces aways, I hear “Go wait in the conference room,” out of the corner offer.   Next stop….conference room.

As I sat in the conference room I was in good company, surrounded by countless awards and news articles celebrating the success, customer service and growth of the firm.

Here is a quick timeline of the next 30 minutes:

From time to time, the cart gets off the track.  It’s an inevitable part of life for all of us.

Remember that it’s far easier to stand back and criticize someone else than it is to put your own beliefs forward.

You, me, Michael Phelps, it happens to us all.  Living and working as an entrepreneur I fall forward every day (if I’m doing what I’m supposed to be doing).

Parents, athletes, teachers and businesspeople all fail from time to time both personally and professionally.  It’s not uncommon to fail, and have to pick up the pieces and start all over again from scratch on a project, life or relationship (sometimes many times over), hopefully with even more energy, optimism, enthusiasm and wisdom than before the fall.

True success is not a results of never failing but having the courage to get up, wipe yourself off and try again as though you never failed

So how do we get back on track when we fall?  You MUST find a way that works for you.   And it must work quickly.

Is it listening to your favorite song, relaxing to jazz or classical music, doing yoga, meditating, reciting affirmations, visiting a special place, spending time with someone who “just gets us,” taking a walk, getting some exercise, seeing a therapist, getting lost in a hobby, time alone, traveling, doing something creative, meeting with a mentor or coach, a fun night out with friends or reading an inspiring piece of literature?

Keep trying different methods until you find something that works for you.

For most of us it’s a combination of those things though the happiest and most successful people I’ve studied have identified the catalysts to get them back on track as soon as possible.

One of the written works that inspires me and helps me rebound faster and stronger is from Chris Guillebeau.  I haven’t met Chris yet, but his word and life inspire me.

For those of you who don’t know him, Chris is an entrepreneur and world traveler and when I say a world traveler, I mean world traveler.

A slow Tuesday for Chris puts most our of busiest days of the year to shame as he  exceeds and redefines most people’s definition of world travel.

Chris set the lofty goal to visit every country in the world by 35 years old.

Chris has seven countries to visit in the next nine months, after which, he’ll have successfully visited all 193 countries.   That is an incredible feat on so many levels.

Chris has written a 29 page free “Brief Guide to World Domination” that helps me get back on the horse when I fall.  I highly suggest you check out for free by clicking the link.

It is ad-free and affiliate free masterpiece and I’m not being compensated in any way to share this information with you other than the intrinsic value and goodness I feel like a father who teaches a child to ride a bike, knowing that you’ve improved someone’s life and hoping they’ll pay it forward one day.

Below is the opening to Chris’s “Brief Guide to World Domination.”

Greatness

If you want it badly enough, and are willing to make some changes in your life to cause it to happen, you too can take over the world….or do anything else you really want to do.  Yes, you really can have it all.  The only things you’ll need to give up are assumptions, expectations and the comfort zone that holds you back from greatness.

-Chris Gullibeau

For those of you who don’t invest the time to digest the “Brief Guide to World Domination” let me share with you what Chris calls:

“The two most important questions in the universe”

1.  What do you really want to get out of life?

YOUR ANSWER:  _________________________________________________________________________________________________ _________________________________________________________________________________________________ _________________________________________________________________________________________________ _________________________________________________________________________________________________

2.  What can you offer the world that no one else can?

YOUR ANSWER:  _________________________________________________________________________________________________ _________________________________________________________________________________________________ _________________________________________________________________________________________________ _________________________________________________________________________________________________

Great questions to think about for us all.   Chris, thank you from the bottom of my heart for all you do and share with the world to inspire, motivate and educate people like me get from where we are to where we want to be.

Thanks for reading this week, I look forward to your comments below.

If you haven’t already signed up to receive my blog by email you can include your email address in the sidebar on the right as I’ve pivoted off my Tuesday posts and am posting at more randomly selected days and times when I’m inspired or feel I have something valuable to share.

Until next time…  Be humble but believe in your own unique greatness.

PS.  In hopes of helping more people, I have added a coaching and consulting page to help you develop the mindset to get from where you are to where you want to be.  Click here  to learn more.

PSS.  What tips and techniques do you know of and/or use  for helping yourself bounce back from setbacks?  PLEASE SHARE BELOW in the comments 

Links:

• Brief Guide to World Domination by Chris Guillebeau
• Joe Sweeney Coaching and Consulting  (<—NEW)
• Chris’s latest book is a great one for any entrepreneurs out there –>The $100 Startup: Reinvent the Way You Make a Living, Do What You Love, and Create a New Future