This week’s blog is in response to Stephanie’s request on my Facebook page. She was first to respond and asked if I would write about “How to Deal with Negative People.” Special thanks to Gregg, Darian, Josh, Che’rie, and Zach for your responses, much appreciated. I will write about your requested topics over the upcoming weeks.
Negative people. What to do with them? Should we get rid of them? Read on and find out!
Chances are you have encountered a least a few really negative people in your life, right? I know I have. Negative people seem to rain on everyone else’s parade because they have no parade of their own to go to. Negative people leave those around them feeling stressed, drained, tired and often times confused. In order to be happy and successful (however you define each) positively managing the (negative) relationships in our lives is a must.
You will be the same person in five years except for the people you meet and the books you read. —Charlie “Tremendous” Jones
Do you want to have a positive attitude? If you answered YES, please do not underestimate the effects being around negative people. They are toxic.
That said, keep in mind, everyone is fighting their own battles so there’s no reason to ever be rude. The negative words and actions are usually a function of something else going on in their lives so while we should be sensitive to their feelings, we should not let negative people put their negativity on us.
Below are my 23 hot tips for dealing with negative people (my favorite is in bold)
- Work on your own attitude. Build a stronger fort. As they say on airplanes, “Secure your own mask, before assisting those around you.”
- Reduce your time with them.
- Turn an N to a P (a negative person to a positive person – it’s been done)
- Realize what they are saying are just words. This is similar to #1 but don’t let it get to you. Sticks and stones will break my bones but words will never hurt me.
- Be SO energetic and positive they can’t help but smile at you (or hate you but presumably at least then they’ll leave you alone).
- Smile at them every time you see them.
- Hold them accountable. If they say they are going to do something and don’t follow through (this happens quite often with energy vampires) ask them politely what happened as many of these types get “let off the hook” for all their behaviors and fail to go through the proper personal growth.
- Stop texting with them if they are your friends or relatives. Many people say things over text messaging they would (likely) never say in person or on the phone.
- Delete them from your Social Media accounts or at the very least hide their Facebook feeds so you’re not exposed to their puking.
- Cut them completely out of your life. I realize this option sounds harsh but sometimes it’s the best and only option. (I’m not ashamed to admit I have used this method with a few people in my life and it’s worked out for the best.)
- Find support in numbers. Find more positive people to be around when you know you are going to be around them.
- Ask them if there’s something you can help them with. Their negativity might be a shield masking some deeper problems or fears.
- Make a concerted effort to spend time with them to get to know them better and find out what is really going on.
- Be extra nice to them. It’s easy to be nice to people who are nice to you, however it takes a special person to be nice to someone who is rude.
- Send them the link to my blog, and a note saying you read this awesome blog and thought they would really enjoy it. Ha Ha.
- Buy them your favorite personal development book.
- Invite them to a personal development seminar.
- Mention to them a more positive way to look at a situation every time they say something negative. Who knows, they may just come around.
- Have a genuine talk with them about their negativity. Risky but it might just work. If it’s someone you want to keep in your life, perhaps they don’t even realize how negative they are. It’s worth a shot, right?
- Ignore them.
- Get them professional help.
- Introduce them to some other negative people you know. Misery loves company, right? And that way they won’t be dragging you down. This might be effective for someone you cannot totally cut out of your life but would like to reduce the time you spend with them.
- Remember to always take the high road. “Don’t argue with fools because people from a distance can’t tell who is who.” Jay-Z
Ultimately a positive attitude is one of the most valuable assets to invest your time in developing. One of the essential skills to learn on the path to a positive attitude is ditching the negative people in your life (or cutting them out completely). Why? Because the positive people going somewhere (i.e. eagles) won’t notice you if you’re hanging around energy vampires and naysayers.
Bottom line, don’t let them get to you. Their behavior is no reflection of who you are, it’s merely a reflection of who they are.
“I just do not hang around anybody that I don’t want to be with. Period. For me, that’s been a blessing, and I can stay positive. I hang around people who are happy, who are growing, who want to learn, who don’t mind saying sorry or thank you… and [are] having a fun time.” John Assaraf
Until next week. More energy. More focus. Smile often!
Here are some other great links you will enjoy!