Asking Great Questions

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in Ask Better Questions

What is the biggest motivator or source of inspiration in your life?

Stop for a second and think about your answer to the question before you continue reading.

Who or what is the biggest motivator or source of inspiration in your life?  This time I want you to actually think about it before you move on (kudos to those of you who stopped to think about it the first time).

As you think about it, I want you to realize you are forming positive associations in your mind about important people and events in your life.

One simple yet meaningful way to deepen the frequency and intensity of good experiences and relationships in your life is to ask great questions.

What was the highlight of your day today?   This is one of many questions I use instead of “hi, how are you? or “how was your day”  I’ve found I get better responses, more intimate details about people’s days and lives, and it allows them the opportunity to replay the day’s best experiences in their head and from their point of view it’s an enjoyable question to answer and share a victory (big or small) from the day.

“Successful people ask better questions, and as a result, they get better answer.”  Tony Robbins

What questions do you ask people in your life?   Do you ask thought provoking questions or do you at times find yourself just going through the motions and asking the “standard questions”?

By standard questions I mean:  How’s business?  What are you doing tonight/this weekend?  Or for people you you’re meeting for the first time, instantly asking, “So what do you do? Who do you work for?” are extremely worn out and over asked question in my opinion.  If you’re at a networking event, how many people do you think have already asked that person the exact same question?

I want to challenge you to ask better questions in every facet of your life this week.  As the kids questions about their goals and dreams.  Ask your parents and/or grandparents about their fondest memories from childhood or to tell you the story about how they fell in love.  Ask a co-worker what he or she would be doing if they didn’t work at your firm.   Ask a friend about the best vacation they’ve ever taken.  Ask a mentor about their legacy and what they want to be remembered for.

Think about the people in your life and questions you could ask about their lives.  Odds are you have some amazing people your life yet without asking great questions you’re missing the boat.

The key to asking great question is to ask questions:

  • The person will enjoy answering,
  • That show you are in tune with what is important to them
  • Open ended to get them talking versus ‘yes/no’ questions which can abruptly end conversations
  • Unique questions they don’t hear everyday
  • And then to ask good follow up questions based on their responses before

This week for a fun experiment I want you to ask one person everyday a question you wouldn’t normally ask them and see what happens.  Have fun with it!  It can be serious and deep, or funny and silly, like you may ask them, “If you were a 5 star chef how would you improve your lunch today? (this works best when eating out and they didn’t pack their own lunch…haha)

You’ll be shocked by the positive responses, not just by way of their answers and what you learn, but also how it positively impacts your relationship, your attitude and your energy level for the rest of the day.  YES!!

If I wrote my blog just for you and you could ask me to write about any one topic what would it be?   Leave your answer in the comment section, if you dare :)

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  • http://sonotrading.com Zach Negin

    I’d very much enjoy hearing your thoughts on love.

  • Gregg Salkovitch

    Love the article, Joe and all of your great “thinking” questions. Ironic timing……just went to a social hour and 100% of the people started with, “So, what do you do?” I was hoping to enjoy a few hours of drinking but ended up feeling like I was on an interview!

  • Rowan Childs

    I would always be interested in pushing yourself further than you think you can and stepping out of your comfort zone.
    Great blog,
    Rowan

  • http://www.joshuakosnick.com Josh Kosnick

    Work/Life balance!

    Finding ways to be excited/motivated about things such as working out, hanging w/ friends, etc. when work is dominating my focus.

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